“It’s never too late to be who you might have been.” George Eliot//Mary Anne Evans
Seeing how it’s the 2nd of January, I feel like it’s as good a time as any to make some more goals, but this time I get to call them “New Year’s Resolutions” so watch out…I might actually do some stuff.
- Do not get verbally jealous of Patrick and Whitney. Or Patrick and anyone else. I had an episode last night and this is exactly how I’ve gotten myself into trouble in the past. He starts dating someone else and I get jealous and take him back. Do not fucking do that! You are not happy together, he does not make you happy. If he is happy with someone else that is better than both of you being miserable. I think the feeling of jealousy is normal, but keep it to your damn self. Don’t go screaming into the phone that you’re no one’s second choice and texting him to “have a super time with the void” it’s just dumb. Just accept the feelings and give yourself a little pep talk. Also, if he’s already dating someone to “fill the void” (that’s how Whitney got her fun little nickname “The Void”, it makes me giggle) then he’s just confirming that he does not understand you and he’s just a broken person that always needs someone around. And you’re better than that and you really are done being the second choice, so don’t do that shit.
- No fast food. Not even on traveling days. This one is going to be tough, especially on traveling days. It’s always an excuse for me to pig out because I’m on the road and there are less healthy options. Which is completely true, but there are ways around it. I’m hardly ever staying somewhere that I couldn’t have managed to make a few sandwiches and snacks before hitting the road. I’m looking forward to the fast food and no healthy options completely on purpose. Madelyn will just have to deal with this. Or if we are having a lazy no cook day I can take her to Wendy’s and I can go to Subway. I guess Subway is technically fast food, but its sandwiches and not burgers and fries so that’s better right? I’m gonna go with yes. I do not like the way I feel after I eat fast food, which is guilty and instantly fatter. Especially when I have to eat it for 2-3 meals out of my day. Like yesterday, Bojangles for breakfast, Chick-Fil-A for lunch, and Papa Johns for dinner. Groooooooosssssss. And the whole time I was thinking, well this is it, starting tomorrow I’m just doing away with all of this. So I pigged out on purpose, because I told myself that yesterday was my last day. So for really reals, no more.
- No more box wine on weekdays. Because here’s the thing…it has me drinking every day for pretty much no reason. I do feel a little on edge some days and I get into the excuse of, “just something to take the edge off”, but I have to drink the equivalent of a bottle for my edge to be taken off. So, it’s just not needed. It’s extra calories mostly and it makes me a little foggy for morning time. So after I finish the box that is currently in my house, no more box wine for weekdays. I need to replace it with something else to relax me, I guess the weed pen is good for that, it just makes me hungry. Or I could go on a little walk on the treadmill. I don’t know, I just hate being grumpy and blood boiling, but still trying to remain calm and then all the sudden I just snap at Madelyn because I’m feeling a certain way that has nothing to do with her.
- Go to the fucking gym. This is pretty crucial. Especially with the me wanting to be jealous thing and also possibly going back on the dating market sometime in the future. I feel like I should set a goal of at least 3 days per week. I think that’s pretty good. For the month of January, 3 days a week. If I can do that then I will up it to 4 days a week for February and March and then who knows!? Maybe fucking 5 days by April. I need to have my notebook and a plan and I need to have a waking up plan. And I don’t know why I don’t think of the simplest solutions the first time, but I had a fucking epiphany this morning. I want to be able to get to the gym early, so I can get to work early, so I can be home early, so that neither Madelyn nor the puppies are neglected. Also, with all of the doctors appointments that we have had recently and more upcoming, it is easier to maintain the schedule if I get to work earlier rather than later. Anyway, Madelyn has trouble getting up in the morning. I didn’t know how I was going to manage going to the gym in the morning and getting ready there while still wanting to physically be there for Madelyn in the mornings to at least make sure she is awake by the time that I leave. So the stroke of GENIUS that I had was, I can get ready at my own house! I don’t HAVE to get ready at the gym because I live literally 5 minutes away from my new gym. I don’t have to pack a bag or worry about doing my hair there, or waiting for a shower. I can just go work out and immediately leave. Now I just have to figure out the timing. I got up today and taking a shower, blow drying and straightening my hair (I have new hair and I haven’t tried it out in its natural state yet), putting on makeup, packing food, and taking the dogs out took me about an hour and a half. I woke up about 10 minutes after 6 and I left the house around 7:30am. That’s not a horrible goal for a normal day. I’d wake up at 4:50am not having to do anything else except put on clothes, throw up my hair, and take my preworkout. I might want to wake up 10 minutes earlier. I’ll trial that. And then workout from 5-6, come home to shower and get ready, make sure Madelyn is up, and go on about my day. That has me working 8-4:30pm on a normal day and until 6:30pm if I am making up time, which does suck, but hopefully won’t be that often. On non-gym days I should get up at 5am and get to work by 7am. That would help with the appointment days too. Ok so the schedule…I think a lot of that will depend on appointments in the beginning, but as those lessen, I would like to go Thursday, Friday, and Saturday to start. Then I’ll add Wednesday and then eventually Tuesday. I do like Sunday and Monday for days off.
Bam! That’s all I got as far as yearlong goals. I feel like I can control these things and the goals are certainly attainable with a little effort. I’m gonna leave out anything about diet. I’m still on Weight Watchers and I do like it. Mostly for the recipes and the points let me know how good or bad something is for me which also helps me gauge what I eat all the time, so I’ll most likely stick with it, but I don’t want to make any promises about tracking all the time.
Clear as Crystal 