I’m really pissed at you right now. I don’t even have the words to say to you so I quit texting. I needed you today. I am being completely bold face honest (I don’t think that’s a real saying) I really fucking hate asking anyone for anything. Ever. Period. Including stuff that those people should be doing anyway because it’s their fucking job. If I could be in 3 different places at once, I’d do it. If I could do every bit of work that needed to be done on my own, I would do it. It hurts me. Strains me to ask for anything at all. But I needed you today.
I just needed you to get the fucking dogs out of the house for 1 fucking hour. So someone could come look at our fucking house and you couldn’t fucking do it. It’s not huge and maybe it’s fine. Maybe they really don’t care that 2 loud ass dogs are incessantly barking in the basement as loud as they can with no plan on stopping. Maybe that sort of thing doesn’t bother them. Maybe they’ll make us a big ol offer today and my anger won’t even matter and you’ll have another victory. Another I told you so moment.
It was your 37th birthday yesterday and you celebrated…hard. When I texted you at 6 this morning you were drunk as hell and cancelled. When you awoke around 11am I told you that I was mad about it and why, you apologized and said that you would go, that you would be leaving soon. You fell asleep. Texted me at 1:30pm to let me know, even sent a sad face…the showing was scheduled for 1:45pm.
It’s really not about the dogs. I have dogs. People can deal with it because they want to see the house or they can’t, it makes little difference to me. Except that we both need everything to go as smoothly and quickly as possible to get out from under this house. That’s all I was hoping for by asking you to get them today. So it could be nice and calm and quiet for whomever needed to see the house today. You offered, committed, backed out, recommitted, and then failed. Let me down twice in 1 day. All the while telling me that your birthday wasn’t the same without me? Are you fucking kidding me right now? From my point of view it looks like your life is fucking great without me. It kind of looks like all the other times we’ve broken up. You get to go live the life you’d really rather be living. Going out every weekend, golfing, and bars, whatever…every single weekend. I’m living the same life with or without you. It doesn’t really change. How you’d like to live becomes painfully obvious every time we break up.
Clear as Crystal 